Overcoming Anger


Do you know what makes you mad?



When you are upset, you are thinking about something that has happened to you.

The cause of your angry feelings can be many things. The key to getting to the root is to first identify your sources of anger.

Identify your sources of anger
It’s best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop positive strategies.

The first step is to find the root cause of the anger since everything in life operates on the principle of cause and effect. Anger is an effect.

What is the cause?

First, remember that as a man, you have culturally been conditioned to believe that the only allowable emotion is to be mad. The other thing is when someone says you never cry, its because you can’t more than the fact you don’t want to.

Gender, culture, and tears In the 1980s, biochemist William H. Frey, Ph.D., found that women cry an average of 5.3 times a month, while men cry an average of 1.3 times per month, with crying defined as anything from moist eyes to full-on sobbing.

Those averages still appear to be about the same, suggests newer research, including work by Lauren Bylsma, Ph.D., of the University of Pittsburgh (Journal of Research in Personality, 2011).

Biologically, there may be a reason women cry more than men: Testosterone may inhibit crying, while the hormone prolactin (seen in higher levels in women) may promote it.

As a little boy, you and I cried a lot when we got hurt, were wronged by someone or something. But, what happened when our male Testosterone hormones kicked in at age 12. The tears seemed to dry up and in fact, they did.

But, to get to the source of your anger, is to not focus on your whether you can or will cry a tear, that is not the issue.

Sir, the challenge is to look for the reason you are where you are now.

Here is your next challenge!

1. Identify the problem: through self-inventory:
a. Why am I angry?
b. What events trigger my anger?
c. Who triggers my anger?
d. When does my anger get triggered?

Unless you face the reality of the core reason you become angry, you can’t overcome it. Identifying the source of your anger is most important. Anger expresses itself in many ways and will continue to disrupt your life until resolved.

2. Pray like David: PSALM 139:23-24. ‘Search me O God and know my heart; Try me and know my anxieties; And see if there be any wicked way in me. And lead me in the way everlasting.’ Using a prayer like this, ask the Lord to show you the source of your anger.

3. Feedback from friends is valuable although sometimes uncomfortable. Friends can often give you very honest and powerful feedback when you may not even know you have a problem. While this may not be comfortable, it is a gift.

Anger is mostly a result of how we evaluate something. When we evaluate with distorted thinking, the result will often be increased anger. B y changing the way we think changes the way we feel.

Types of Distorted Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking
Mental Filters
Discounting the positives
Jumping to conclusion
Magnification or minimization
Emotional reasoning
Should’ statements

Distorted thinking can cause anger but the distorted thinking of others can also generate anger.

The Bible is a book of wisdom. Check what it says about ANGER:
1. PROVERBS 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
2. PROVERBS 15:18 “A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention.”
3. PROVERBS 16:32 “A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention.”
4. PROVERBS 19:11 “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.”
5. PROVERBS 20:2 “The wrath of a king is like the roaring of a lion; Whoever provokes him to anger sins against his own life.”

NEXT: Getting Past Anger