Getting Past Anger
GET PAST YOUR ANGER!
Don't surrender to anger?
What are other causes of Anger?
Be sure you rule out other possible reasons for outbursts of anger such as:
low blood sugar
possible head injury
possible physical causes
psychological disorders (bipolar, schizoid disorder, depression)
What are effective ways of addressing anger?
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive –not aggressive manner is the healthiest way to express anger.
To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others.
Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Your expression of anger should be direct, clear, and immediate.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected.
This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it or focus on something positive.
The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive or positive behavior.
The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward upon yourself.
Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure or depression.Unexpressed anger can create other problems.
It can lead to unhealthy expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile.
People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger.
Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm yourself down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down and let the feelings subside.
There are many ways to creatively accomplish calming yourself down when angered.
The ultimate answer to our anger is to replace it with God’s peace.
The Bible gives us insight on how to successfully address anger:
1. Proverbs 1
5:1 ‘A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’
2. Proverb 15:18 ‘A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention.’
3. Proverbs 16:32 ‘A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention.’
4. Proverbs 19:11 ‘The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.’
5. Proverbs 20:2 ‘The wrath of a king is like the roaring of a lion; Whoever provokes him to anger sins against his own life.’
6. Proverbs 22:8 ‘He who sows iniquity will reap sorrow, And the road of his anger will fail.’
7. Proverbs 27:4 ‘Wrath is cruel and anger a torrent, But who is able to stand before jealousy?’
8. Ecclesiastes 7:9 ‘Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools.’
9. Isaiah 1:4 ‘Alas, sinful nation, A people laden with iniquity, A brood of evildoers, Children who are corrupters! They have forsaken the LORD, They have provoked to anger the Holy One of Israel, They have turned away backward.’
These are some of the verses found in the Old Testament. What is the central message of these verses?
In the New Testament, the issue of anger is addressed very directly.
What does the New Testament say about Anger?
New Testament Considerations about anger
Notice that the New Testament is essentially quiet about anger other than to put it off because in the New Testament the work of Jesus at the Cross was effectively already done.
1. Ephesians 4:3 ‘Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.’
2. Colossians 3:8 ‘But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.’
The implication is that anger is a negative element or factor that has no place in the Christian life or life-styles.
How can I resolve the root cause of my anger?
The goal of the world’s view of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes.
You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but they suggest you can learn to control your reactions.
While their approaches do nothing to really absolve anger’s root problems they do find that anger is harmful if left alone. Research has found that with suppressed anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you’re angry with) resolve the situation.
I Corinthians 10:3-6
‘For though we walk in the FLESH, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down VAIN IMAGINATIONS and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every EVERY THOUGHT into captivity to the obedience of Christ’
How can I do this?
Step one: Acknowledge that you are angry. Admit it. Many people fight this because they think Christians are not supposed to be angry. It is OK to say: ‘I AM ANGRY!’ It is important not to get stuck there.
Step two: Take a healthy action to resolve the situation.
1. Avoid blaming the other person
No one can make you angry without your permission.
Anger is more than just your YOUR RESPONSE. Anger is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Only you can deal with your own anger.
2. See the truth of the matter.
When something happens that makes me angry, examine how you are evaluating the situation. Avoid distorted thinking.
Step three: Model your words and actions after the Biblical model of taking every thought captive.
1. How can I take captive my thoughts?
This is what you might call Cognitive Restructuring of your THOUGHTS
A. Consider your anger in light of forgiveness/unforgiveness.
1. Matthew 6:14-15 IF I don’t forgive what happens to me?
2. What if I retain anger over someone else’s sin? Read John 20:23. It will be retained by whom?
B . Meditate upon the good things of God:
Study the Bible
Listen to Christian music
if you have access to the internet,visit SomeOne Cares Radio and click the ‘Listen’ button to bring intimate worship into your computer 24/7.)
Sing to the Lord
Slow yourself down by resting, taking a walk, encouraging a friend
Pray for someone else other than yourself.
NEXT: Apply this lesson to your sexuality